Wednesday, December 15, 2010

i am precious

boy, i admit when you're gone, i was so upset. mcm nak mati rasanya. rasa mcm dunia ni meaningless. rasa mcm fuck laaah senang cerita. sejak you blah, mcm2 cerita i dengar. mmg tah ape2 laaah. i still ingat ayat you, ' kau ingat kau dah pakai tudung konon dapat hidayah kau boleh dapat lelaki lagi baik? dengan perangai kau mcm haram, setan pun jijik dengan kau!' woah, apa you rasa haa bila cakap mcm tu? rasa mcm you perfect sangat eh ? sorry cos i have to write this on my blog. sebab i rasa kata2 you tu agak melampau sikit. tapi i tak terasa pun. and you know why, because i can prove to you that i can get a better person more than you. guys yang tak ambik advantage dekat i. haha, daah buat mcm2 dekat i then kata, ' i nak girl yang boleh bimbing i. yang pakai tudung. yang blajar agama', dear sayang, before you find someone yang mcm tu, do repair yourself. taubat apa yang you pernah buat kat i or whoever dulu. i admit taau, since kita break, i banyak sembahyang banyak berdoa. bukan nak menunjuk but i nak you tau, i nak cari jodoh dgn orng yang betul2 syang i. and tak forget all their promises. unlike you boy. i dont know why dulu i puja sangat you. i rasa dulu you lagi hebat dari tuhan. mcm you ada everything. but now, you just a piece of old crap. you, i tak pernah nak malu nak mengaku pasal benda ni. cos this is my old stupid wasted memories. Alhamdullilah i sedar sekarang. plus orng cakap bunga bukan sekuntum, kumbang bukan seekor. so, i would love to have a journey with someone else. cos i would never give up on guys semata2 pasal kita. it will never happen. i dont care if you nak kata i anjing or what. im done listening to people who do not know appreciate me. sorry, i mmg tak berniat pun nak memburuk kan you. it just, people out there need to know the truth. i tau belakang i kemain you cerita i curaang laa bla bla bla. this time i need to stand up for myself. clearly i tak pernah pun curang. you cuma cari point to accuse me kaan. taknak jumpa i sebab takut i menangis begging2 mcm haritu. awal haritu cakap tak sayang but the last text cakap, 'actly i still sayang you before harini'. wtf laaah. and i just nak you tau, if sebab i gred you turun, well im not sorry. let it be a lesson for you my dear sweetheart. i harap sangat you jumpa orng yang boleh bimbing you. sebab you dah banyak terlanjur dalam dosa. bukan maksud i mcm i ni perfect sangat, tapi i think ehh, i know i am better then you :) good luck mister.

5 comments:

  1. nadh.. nie batrisyia,, cousin amila.. kenal x? =)

    ehm... serious i x sangka.. there are other people yg ada experience mcm i... mse baca post you yg nie,, rasa macam, ya Allah... ada jugak org yg lalui ape yg i lalui... rasa apa yg i rasa....

    mse dngn dia dulu... i tak sedar pon lelaki tu take advantage.. tapi skarang,, lepas break dengan dia,, baru sedar everything.. every crap yg dia da buat kat i and every shitty things that i do for him atas nama love laa konon... [sorry for the curses... tp betul2 tngh berapi skrng..].. mse tu,, blinded by love... everything buat je... ketepikan dosa.... memang tak laa... sekarang teruk gila rasa...

    and what's worse is,, bila i nangis merayu2 kat dia,, dia bg i harapan... and then tiba2 the next morning dia text i kata,, "sorry.. i wasn't thinking straight malam semalam.." whatthefuck lah kann... [sorry again]

    kalau sekali je,, i bole terima.. nie banyak kali dia buat mcm tu... bagi harapan kat i.. and then the next morning text ckp dia buat mistake...

    mse mula2 lepas break i was willing to do ANYTHING nak ngan dia balik... tp now i realise.. mcm you ckp,, ada ramai lg kumbang out there... and he is just a jerk that god send to me as a lesson...


    sorry i luahkan benda nie kat you nadh mcm nie... it's just that nie first time someone actually experience the same thing mcm nie..

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  2. i'm so sorry for you nad. taktau pulak teruk camni. i can never imagine what it feels like, i hope i will never face it myself laa.

    ada hikmahnye kot. maybe sekarang you dah sedar, and you dah boleh see things clearly. kalau dulu mesti blinded by l.o.v.e. tapi sekarang tak dah kan?

    may this be a lesson, and you'll meet a better person.

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  3. bat : hey, i kenal lah you :). thank god i found someone yang boleh paham perasaan i. dulu im soo stupid sebab ikut je apa yang dia cakap. biar i je yang sentiasa rasa sakit hati aslong dia happy. biar i tak belanja kat sekolah asalkan dpt buat surprise birthday party untuk diaa. i sampai sanggup tipu parents i semata2 nak jumpa dia. apa lagi yng i tak pernah sacrifice untuk dia. everything i had i dah kasi kat diaa. sampai at one point i rasa i have no pride anymore. but i dont care cos i love him so much. and then he left me :) awal2 i rasa confuse. i admit i nak dia balik smpai i pernah terpikir nak pergi johor semata2 nak jumpa dia. but then i pikir balik, im done doing stupid things to him. what for if he still doest appreciate me kaaan. and then i took a smart decision to move on. and now, im happy with my life eventhough i not deny that i still love him. but not like i used to.

    ama : thanks. i hope sangat kawan2 i tak face benda mcm ni. yeah, dulu im blinded by love. everything was fake. and now, i can see things more clearly. and this a greatest lesson of all.

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  4. ehm... betul laa... memang dulu BLINDED gilaa... tak nampak everything else selain DIA... ehm... it's hard too admit,, tp mmg i still have feelings for him... tngok gmba dia online kat fb pon rasa mcm,, ugghhhh.... tak taw nak describe... rse macam nak pegi kat dia, jerit2 and everything but at the same time peluk and merayu.. tp all those are stupid...

    my friend masyitah paksa i try loving some one else as a way to forget him.. and i'm still trying... =) but rasanya i bole lupakan that guy...

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  5. i think we can survive without them :) now, we have to move on with our life. i rasa there's a thousand of guys yang much more better then them :D

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